On Money and Power Issues

In her article, "A Couple's Guide to Managing Money", Suze Orman (Yahoo! Finance) touched on money and power issues as they pertain to stay-at-home moms.

Among the "money vows" that she advises marrying couples to take is "No matter who earns what, we will equally share all money decisions."

The most damaging dynamic I see so often is when one partner makes a lot more than the other and on that basis is allowed to, or expected to, make all the couple's money decisions...

This happens all the time with stay-at-home moms. They think that they have to defer to the wage-earner in the family... You both should be equally engaged in all of the decisions.

I'm grateful that I do not feel such power issues emanating from a lack of income. My hubby and I have always been equal partners, and that hasn't changed when I became a SAHM. True, the apprehension on my part was there at the beginning but months later, that has been settled. It would still be nice to have my own income in some way, but I don't feel that it's because of having to defer to my husband's decision about expenses. While we don't discuss minor purchases such as groceries (which I buy 90% of the time anyway), we've always made large items a joint decision.

Suze Orman also says that:

... it is crucial for the stay-at-home parent to have a steady paycheck; by that I mean there should be a set amount automatically deposited on a weekly or monthly basis into a checking account for the stay-at-home parent. That way the stay-at-home parent is not put in the powerless position of having to constantly ask the wage-earning partner for money.

While I see her point about the powerless position of having to ask for money, it may not be totally necessary to have money deposited physically to a bank account for the SAHP. Having a portion of the family budget set aside for the SAHP's spending discretion should be enough. I, for example, buy supplies for my hobby without having to ask permission. It's just understood that that is part of our family expenses, just as my husband spends on his own hobby. He never questions my shopping in this regard and even occasionally urges me to shop at the craft store. Of course, it helps that we are on the same page when it comes to spending.

Having to relinquish an equal position in the family because of a lack of income may lead to a loss of self-respect among SAHMs. It shouldn't be so. The income-earning partner will also play a part in this. But it is the SAHP's who should watch out that they do not relinquish their position unknowingly. Income or no income, marriage and raising a family should be a partnership.

Source: Yahoo Finance, Sept. 22, 2005
Image from: Freeimages.com
Thanks to hubby for sending me the article. :)