A Waste of a Life?
I've been thinking about whether I should write about this. But I decided to go ahead and share with you an eye-opening mini-event in my blogging life.
I got my first comment from a troll, right here on this blog. It arrived a few nights ago. Quite unpleasant, really. I deleted it. But I realized that there are a lot of insights I could share as a result of that anonymous reader stopping by. So I'm sharing that comment here in this entry.
The reader described me as a "waste of a human being", and then that he/she pities my children.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel bad about getting this comment. My emotions were of disbelief, amusement, resolution and then joy.
I could not believe that someone out there takes the trouble to leave comments like this. What could that person be so angry about?
A waste of a human being? I don't think so. My life is full. My work is important. I left the career world, but I didn't leave behind the brains that got me through graduate school and the pursuit of scientific knowledge. I am not wasting away at home. I am investing my time and efforts in lives. Few jobs could offer me the same satisfaction.
Staying at home has allowed me to discover, and nurture, talents and interests that have been swallowed up by previous pursuits. Instead of being or becoming a waste, I would think that my "human being"-ness is richer by far.
Pity my children? I look at my son, and see a happy childhood filled with love, security, and constancy. Pity my children?!? Pity other children who do not have what he has.
I was amused at the sheer inappropriateness of this comment. Frankly, I think that person left it at the wrong blog.
I felt even more resolved that we made the right decision for me to be a SAHM. And then joy when I realized how much I believe in the value of who I am and what I'm doing.
A waste of a life? Far from it.
A full life. A life of value and significance, for now and the future. That's what I have.
I got my first comment from a troll, right here on this blog. It arrived a few nights ago. Quite unpleasant, really. I deleted it. But I realized that there are a lot of insights I could share as a result of that anonymous reader stopping by. So I'm sharing that comment here in this entry.
The reader described me as a "waste of a human being", and then that he/she pities my children.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel bad about getting this comment. My emotions were of disbelief, amusement, resolution and then joy.
I could not believe that someone out there takes the trouble to leave comments like this. What could that person be so angry about?
A waste of a human being? I don't think so. My life is full. My work is important. I left the career world, but I didn't leave behind the brains that got me through graduate school and the pursuit of scientific knowledge. I am not wasting away at home. I am investing my time and efforts in lives. Few jobs could offer me the same satisfaction.
Staying at home has allowed me to discover, and nurture, talents and interests that have been swallowed up by previous pursuits. Instead of being or becoming a waste, I would think that my "human being"-ness is richer by far.
Pity my children? I look at my son, and see a happy childhood filled with love, security, and constancy. Pity my children?!? Pity other children who do not have what he has.
I was amused at the sheer inappropriateness of this comment. Frankly, I think that person left it at the wrong blog.
I felt even more resolved that we made the right decision for me to be a SAHM. And then joy when I realized how much I believe in the value of who I am and what I'm doing.
A waste of a life? Far from it.
A full life. A life of value and significance, for now and the future. That's what I have.
posted by Jadevine @ 8:26 PM
6 Comments:
At 12:25 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hear, hear! There's no right and wrong when it comes to parenting (unless you're neglecting or abusing your kids, of course). We all do what's right for our families.
At 4:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
Keep in mind that we also need to do what is right for OURSELVES too. I was a stay at home mom for 16 years and know that I lost my true self. You don't realize it while its happening because the kids and hubby's lives become your life and that seems to feel right.
The re-entry process has been difficult....I get scared for moms who when I ask, "how are you?" I get a report on how their kids are. Stay at home moms...keep yourself as a priority.
terry
At 9:09 PM,
Jadevine said…
Hi Lei, Thanks for stopping by. I agree with you. Staying at home is not for every mom. But neither is working outside the home. We all must decide on what is best for our own families.
At 9:12 PM,
Jadevine said…
Hi Terry, Thanks for your insight and reminder. You're right. Maintaining my own identity is as important as taking care of the family. I am happier when I know that I still have my own niche in the world, separate from who I am in the home. And happy moms make the best moms. :)
At 4:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
well that's rich! who is that person to even pass judgment on you without knowing you? i just can't believe the gall of some people to decide who we are as people based on what they see on screen. you're right to ignore this troll and move on.
At 5:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
well said, jadevine. i love that bit about investing on lives. it's so true.
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